The Law of Sustainment in Nurturing Relationships
Richard D. Marks, PhD
As a military veteran, a proud member of the US Navy for 12 transformative years, I am captivated by the leadership, meticulousness, and systems that the military has cultivated over these remarkable two and a half centuries to execute its mission and emerge victorious. Now, let’s be candid about this: we have not triumphed in every conflict we have undertaken. Yet, the strategic thinking, robust processes, and comprehensive systems in place work to ensure the most favorable outcomes.
The US Army’s eight principles of the law of sustainment embody a process of this nature. What is the Law of Sustainment? It possesses two interpretations. One is spiritual, utilized within the realm of personal development. It signifies the notion of consistency, persistence, and the capacity to maintain momentum in one’s goals. The second pertains to the US Army. This interpretation of the law of sustainment relates to the principles and practices the Army employs to uphold and support military operations and missions. In the military context, there are eight principles: integration, anticipation, responsiveness, simplicity, economy, survivability, continuity, and improvisation. I will allow the reader to delve into these as they pertain to military operations. However, through exploration and understanding, I have discovered that these principles can help maintain and nurture healthy and mature relationships.
The ensuing principles are the eight laws identified by the US Army, accompanied by succinct definitions and their applicability to sustaining healthy, loving, caring, and mature relationships.
1. Integration: A United Front
“Sustainment is synchronized and integrated with operations to ensure unity of command and effort.”
In a supportive and nurturing relationship, integration signifies the seamless alignment of your individual aspirations, values, and responsibilities into a shared vision. This process requires effective and regular communication, collaborative decision-making, and mutual support for one another’s personal growth while advancing together toward shared dreams and ambitions. Emotional and logistical integration—encompassing the orchestration of finances, schedules, family, and intimacy—is fundamental to ensuring that both partners operate as a cohesive unit. Rather than perceiving one another as competitors, you tackle challenges as allies dedicated to achieving shared objectives. In RelateWell, we refer to this unity as Us. When Us wins, everyone wins.
2. Anticipation: Proactive Affection
“The ability to foresee operational requirements and initiate actions that satisfy a response without waiting for orders.”
Anticipation in love entails being proactive, rather than reactive, in navigating the emotional landscape of the relationship. Instead of waiting for problems to surface, emotionally mature partners actively listen and strive to comprehend each other’s needs, working diligently to mitigate potential conflicts. Whether it involves offering solace after a challenging day, initiating meaningful dialogues before resentment festers, or simply recognizing when your partner needs space, empathy, coupled with foresight, profoundly enriches the connection between partners and nurtures a deeper, more significant emotional bond.
3. Responsiveness: Timely Encouragement
“The ability to react to changing requirements and support operations as they evolve.”
Life is unpredictable, and relationships flourish when partners respond swiftly and appropriately to one another’s emotional and practical needs with understanding and compassion. Responsiveness encompasses active listening, showing up when it matters, and adapting gracefully to change, whether that involves job loss, illness, or the emotional evolution journey that can challenge your bond. By being attuned to each other's needs, partners can cultivate a nurturing environment where vulnerabilities are acknowledged and cherished, ultimately reinforcing their commitment to one another.
4. Simplicity: Clarity in Connection
“Processes and procedures to minimize complexity.”
Healthy relationships ought to be embraced as clear-cut and uncomplicated; unnecessary complexities should not encumber them. Simplicity in love is characterized by clear communication, setting clear expectations, and avoiding unnecessary drama and discord. It’s about crafting uncomplicated routines, being forthright about your needs, and simplifying life together to alleviate stress and confusion, which operationally fortifies the partnership. Eliminating extraneous complications enables a deeper focus on what genuinely matters in the relationship.
5. Economy: Resource Management
“Providing sustainment resources in an efficient manner.”
In relationships, economy does not equate to frugality—it is about judiciously managing emotional, physical, and financial resources to promote growth and stability. Time, energy, affection, and money should be invested intentionally. Do not squander energy on trivial disputes or emotional games. Instead, channel your efforts toward what truly contributes to building and sustaining your bond, emphasizing meaningful interactions. Prioritizing quality time over quantity can lead to deeper connections that nourish the relationship, laying a foundation for lasting intimacy.
6. Survivability: Resilience Through Challenges
“The ability to protect sustainment resources so they can continue to function.”
Relationships must endure hardships such as financial crises, grief, and external pressures. Survivability signifies developing emotional resilience through shared experiences, fostering trust, and strengthening the emotional connection. Creating a secure environment for open discussions about fears and challenges can significantly enhance both partners' resolve. Establishing healthy boundaries in the face of external stressors and cultivating trust and security are essential for navigating difficult seasons in relationships. Just as the Army safeguards supply lines, couples must safeguard the emotional and relational lifelines that unite them through proactive measures and unwavering efforts to reinforce their bond.
7. Continuity: Consistent Affection Over Time
“The uninterrupted provision of sustainment.”
Continuity in a relationship entails remaining steadfast and consistent through routine care, regular check-ins, and ongoing acts of love that reaffirm commitment. It’s not solely about grand gestures; it’s about showing up day after day, demonstrating unwavering dependability. Emotional maturity is entrenched in reliability, being someone your partner can count on no matter what, and maintaining a sense of security. Routine affirmations of love, whether through words or actions, serve as the adhesive that binds a relationship together over time, nurturing an enduring emotional connection.
8. Improvisation: Adaptability Under Pressure
“The ability to adapt sustainment operations to unexpected situations.”
No matter how meticulously you plan, life hurls surprises your way. Children, career transitions, and mental wellness struggles are commonplace. Improvisation is the art of remaining flexible and inventive in how you love and support one another, even when life unfolds in unforeseen ways and necessitates adaptability to shifting circumstances. It’s about modifying the plan, redefining roles, and maintaining your partnership intact through supportive flexibility. Embracing spontaneity can rejuvenate the relationship and lead to shared adventures that deepen the connection.
Final Reflections: Love as a Mission Worth Nurturing
A successful relationship, much like a triumphant military operation, is not achieved overnight. It is sustained through intention, preparation, responsiveness, and love, which adapts without losing purpose as both partners evolve individually and collectively. By integrating these eight military-tested principles, couples can forge relationships that are not only emotionally mature but also resilient, enduring, and profoundly fulfilling through their dedication to one another. Ultimately, nurturing a partnership necessitates continuous effort, genuine care, and a unified vision for the future, which contributes to the overarching success and satisfaction within the relationship.